June 2011
the hell.
what do you think i am?
a friend you can order off the phone for professional friend service or something? sometimes youre with me, but when the other people are there, you go with them. but then when theyre not there, youre with me? i could be wrong, but the way you play out your cards, its obvious im only an option, not a priority.
better days.
so. wow man. life is getting better. im actually headed in the right direction now. it took a while, but i know im growing stronger by the day. its not exactly where i want to be yet, and its understandable. it takes time to reach what you want, as long as you stay away from the obstacles that get in your way. patience is key along with hard work, and thats what i need to do, combine those two,...
in or out.
whats it gonna be? either youre in my life or not. make up your mind.
honestly, if you have to think about it, then the answer is obviously youre out. there shouldnt even be any second guessing for anyone you truly care about. its not being in it only 50% or 75% or even 99%. when you care about someone, its understandable when your busy and whatnot, but youll give it your all when you possibly...
May 2011
goodnight!
senior breakfast tomorrow, and no one even knows where its at… ._. well. i gotta wake up early to drop off my mom and brothers to work and school.
after that theres cap and gown distribution. :| slow your roll!
only two more days till graduation. ah.
alright. lates.
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dont worry about me.
ever had that told to you by someone you really care about? i get that they dont want to be a bother and all, but honestly it bothers me more when they say that. i just want to help because i care. a whole lot. if you dont want me around, just tell me so like with “i just need to be alone right now” or something. at least i know that way, my help is considered, not thrown out the...
Just let me know.
thats all i ask, is that you update me or something. im honestly tired and fed up with the silence between us. the lost connection. i wish things could be better, but i get that youre always busy. i’ll understand, but i highly doubt you can be so busy to completely cut off ties between us. at least that way, i know youre well worth the wait. hit me up, just let me know.
tested.
i dont know what it is about me, but i’ll say a lot of things i dont mean, just to find the truth out of people. not as in lying, but as in just checking i suppose. i think its my lack of trust. ive been betrayed quite a number of times, that i just like to “test” people and see if they really mean what they say or do. because of that, my mind makes up assumptions, later proven...
kuya,
your little brother is feeling sick. cough cough. save him. meh. buy him pho or something. cough cough.
meanwhile he will go on a glee marathon.
lates.
love, the best little brother in the universe. (you said so)
a bit much.
i dont know why, but i think i overreact a lot. i think im one of those people seem to care a bit too much. almost everything someone close to me does affects me greatly. it all makes me overthink and overreact. sometimes i kinda wish i didnt care too much. just enough to destress, but enough to still be able to take care of them.
okay.
so i get to go to disneyland for free, but it comes at the cost of being a third wheel. fantastic. lol. so its either i go and wander off and be alone all day, or i dont go at all.
give me a reason.
give me one good reason. one good reason why its worth it to continue putting up with you. dayum. because im sure as hell tired of hearing excuses. i honestly dont know whether its better to stay here with you, or if its about time to say that ive had enough. surely, its not always going to be about you, and im tired of babying you. cant you put in at least a little more effort into this? not...
AWH YEEUH.
i freaking love my parents! my mom randomly walked up to me with an envelope and said,”o ito, congratulations. im proud of you anak.” and in my head, i was sure it was money. i was only expecting like 50, or maybe even 100. BUT NOOOOO. THEY GAVE ME 500 DOLLARS. :D
asdjalksjdalksdjslka. WHAT TO DO NOW.
lol. ima try my best not to spend it, but i owe my brother 50 dollars,...
Anonymous asked: are you going for the bears or mustangs?
i just dont know.
i dont know what to say anymore. about anything really. i hate this feeling. the feeling where you honestly dont know whats going on. youre so lost and confused, without a word to say. yet as speechless as you are, all these thoughts culminate from within your mind, causing further damage.
what do i need?
i need a breath of fresh air. i need to get away. i need a break.
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well excuse me.
i have little trust for anyone in the world. trust is such a fragile thing, but you would think because of that, people would cherish it, and all the more take care of it. but nope, its the exact opposite. it hurts, when it seems like all the ones you thought would never hurt you, actually hurt you. the truth hurts. things happen, whether you like it or not. what you choose to do about it, is up...
good morning!
meh. doing a bit more of growing up this morning. currently working on my UCI housing stuff.
yesterday my parents set up my college checking account. x_x
ima work more on my speech later. plus i have open gym later too. tryna hold on to childhood as much as i can.
meh.
hi,
I am @jethrojay. Im currently at the beach, coronado beach, for the second day in a row. Standing here in the dark, sitting up in the lifeguard tower, gazing at the stars up above, its kinda hard to resist imagining. Imagining what it could have been like if “she” was here. as cheesy as it sounds, i could have walked down the beach with her, listening to the gentle crashing of the...
one close call.
today, some idiot ignorant jerk almost potentially killed me, my brothers, and @kamicosauce.
so like i was driving on a road, with two lanes in each direction. i was in the #2 lane, or the lane closest to the middle. not too far away was a gray truck in the #1 lane, or the lane furthest from the middle. so like, from where we are, we see that the truck seems to be turning right, so i kept my...
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"you cant handle the truth!"
yeah. honestly, sometimes the truth is mad bitter. theres always things that i wont agree on, but as much as that happens, im just one of those stubborn people who somehow always try to have their way. but wait, am i supposed to accept things as they are, or fight for it? id rather fight, than never know what could have been. maybe thats why im so stubborn, because i know, if theres a will, theres...
LOL.
aw. my parents are talking to each other on the phone. but guess what, theyre only a foot away from each other. saying i love you and stuff. AW SHO CUTE.
mama&papa<3
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be prepared.
this is life. this is the world. this is freaking reality. dont be so surprised when things wont always go your way. dont get beaten down by all the negativity thats thrown at you. if you got a bad day, theres always tomorrow. someones insulting you? who cares, its not like they truly know you, so why should you be hurt? dont look at everything as if its gonna kill you because if you do, youre...
I HATE MONEY.
college. college. college. youre crushing me. im gonna cry. -_-
im-lisaia:
jtimothy:
This song is dope.
talk it up.
speak up. be heard. dont leave me to guess your feelings. in order for two people to work together well, there must be communication. so dont feed me with your “nothing, im just tired” bs. if you want to be alone, then say so. if you dont feel like talking, let me know. i’ll understand, i’ll back away. i do care for you, but your answers confuse me. just. let. me. know....
(:
taking the long way home just to give myself some time alone.
ah. driving alone, blasting music, talking to myself.
not the least bit weird, right?
well. who cares if im weird(x
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ah,
i need a breather. a break. some time away and alone. i need to pick up the pieces and get myself back together. i know i can do better, but why do i keep messing up? i can do this. i’ll change for the better. i really will. its gonna be a tough road, but i gotta keep strong.
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must you really..
i honestly feel like a lot of people make drama out of thin air. its as if they breathe drama, making a big deal out of every single little thing that happens. when in reality, things can be easily solved if people actually used their brains for thinking and not for yelling. yeah. okie. i must be assuming. but im annoyed of those type of people.
uhm,
say what?
four more days of senior year.
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sorry.
one of the worst feelings is when you know you should be sorry, but youre just too afraid to say so. its horrible to argue, then later realizing that you were completely wrong. because of that, its hard to say sorry. you know you want to, but just cant muster the courage to say so. i hate this feeling.
the hell?
so im just sitting here in my room, then i hear my dog whimpering outside, but it sounds different, but i choose to ignore it, because i thought she just wanted to go in, but she cant because she just ate and needs to poo before going back in. but she keeps whimpering, and i look outside my window, and there she is, standing on top of our brick fence, tryna get down, but not knowing how...
kuya,
im hungry. you probably wont see this but uh, take me out or something soon. lets hang out.
love, the best little brother in the universe.
i dont get it.
i really dont know why i tend to wait around on people. i just suppose i have my hopes raised up high, only to be crushed later on. i dont know. i know im setting myself up, but i dont get why im putting myself in danger of getting hurt. i get attached easily, but i have difficulty breaking away no matter what has happened. i need to realize whats good and what isnt good for me.
i want a kiss.
Ive never had one before.
lets go.
six freaking days left of high school. six.
my plan of action? go all out. here we go. i hate how i saved it until the end. i have so much built up in me just ready to go. i have a ton of tears ready to come out too. ): my hand is also becoming sore from all the yearbook signing and whatnot. theres not much stress left since finals are woop. calc is take home. culinary should be simple. so is...
find it yourself.
find out for yourself. people can only tell you so much. you wont really know something until youve gone through it. this goes two ways. one, dont judge others by what they do and what they go through, because im sure you dont know what their life is like. two, dont automatically give up on something you havent even started. just because someone else doesnt like it, it doesnt mean you wont like...
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i think,
im honestly too nice for someone who has to put up with so much bs. i let myself get pushed around by others. i just take it all in and never really do anything about it. i hate it. oh. so. much. its always like, “oh okay.” no, none of that anymore. its not always okay. i need to get up and do something about it. people need to understand that theyre not the only ones suffering from...
today,
someone called me husband material. someone told me they could see themselves marrying me, taking me home to be their husband. dayum, im flattered and all, but thats hella far! aha. it makes me feel good about myself, but i am nowhere near ready to be a husband. im looking for a girlfriend first, geez. haha. im sure im boyfriend material, i dont see anything wrong with me, not to be conceited..
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the battle.
one tough battle in life you see a lot is the battle between your heart, and your brain. what you feel, and what you think. its always hard to choose. i hate making decisions. you want to do one thing, but you think the other one is right. then later on, you think the exact opposite. you overthink it, and might end up regretting it later. to add to it, the answer never is clear either, making it...
Right now,
Is one of those moments when im actually satisfied with myself after looking in the mirror. +1 for jethro jay. (:
