letting go really is the hardest part. its just something that needs a lot of convincing for it to happen for a person. i dont think anyone ever really completely lets go of someone. maybe thats why they move on. theres just too much to let go. all the time youve spent, all the pictures youve taken, all the minutes youve talked, all the memories created, its just so much to forget at once. you...
special thanks to @lookitzconrad. <333
tell yourself that. youve gone way past your limits. you know when youre overdone. you know when youve finally put up with so much. dont let anyone push you around like it really doesnt affect you. even if you try hiding it with a smile, it still hurts deep down. you deserve better dont you? so why not stand up for yourself. get what you want. its okay to be selfish sometimes. youll never be happy...
"it isnt even real."
“volleyball isnt even a real sport.” someone straight up told me that today. the first thing that came up in my mind was, OH HELL NO. but i just laughed it off. but really, how are you gonna tell me that something i do, something i WORK HARD for, something ive stuck with for years, something that has become my passion, how are you gonna tell me that its all just fake? not real, just...
it really bothers me that people appear “online” on aim, but they dont answer..especially when i need them the most. -_-
there are just those moments when you look at someone you knew. when you unexpectedly see them and its been a while since youve talked to them. but when you see them, they look so happy. happy without you. it makes you wonder how they moved on so quickly, or how easily you could be forgotten. all of a sudden, a rush of memories comes flowing back. you think about how happy you used to be, and how...
if you say it, you mean it.
well, if you do say it, you better mean it. im that type of person who forgives really easily. but deep down, im still hurt. im still bothered, but i always push my feelings aside. but honestly, its about time to change that. if youre going to truly say sorry to someone, you better ask for forgiveness too. being sorry and asking for forgiveness are two different things. if youre sorry, you just...
mom: here! have some, what are these called? blondies? me: whats that? mom: blondies! me: dont you mean..brownies… mom: oh right. HAHAHAH. whut. lolol. i love my mom<3
hot cheetos + ranch = :DDD
getting it out.
theres always that one feeling. that feeling where you have so much to say, yet none of it ever comes out. why is it so hard to tell someone how we feel? it always seems like no one will understand, or were too afraid of what theyll think. you know exactly what youre going to say, but when it comes to the time you face that person, you just stumble and stutter with your words. its like having a...
earlier after volleyball practice.. michael: did bob used to play volleyball? oscar: no. bob chan plays basketball. jerry: like yao ming. wait is that his name? oh no, chow mein. us: … jerry: chow mein right? michael: thats food bro.
sometimes, when we really want something, we usually dont think of the negative possibilities and the consequences for ourselves. were usually too caught up in trying to get what we want, that we dont listen to what others have to say about it. usually, they “put us down” and we just ignore everything they say, because we think that were right. but in the end, its us who really does...
somewhere out there.
i hate knowing that shes somewhere out there just walking on this earth, but i just cant seem to find her. what if i already met her? they say to be patient, but you cant blame me if sometimes i just cant handle it. handle those around me who seem to be in love. i cant help it if i get jealous of them. its always wishing that i had something special like that. but i know there is someone out there...
i cant help it.
but i wait on people a lot. maybe i expect a little too much because i tend to think that everyone will change for the better someday. i know people come and go, you win some and you lose some, but i guess i like to think that i can keep everybody by my side. but things happen, and i cant help but wish that one day theyll come back and think that everything will be normal someday. all im doing is...
i hate cliques.
i hate cliques, but not the people in them. ever get the feeling that people act different when theyre with certain other people? when theyre with their group, they suddenly dont know you, they ignore you completely, and youre just left behind wondering what the hell you did. but when theyre separated from each other, theyre fine. then they do things together as a group, excluding you from all the...
i know its weird. but whenever i think negatively about love, i have a sudden urge to pee. yeaaah. alright. i thought i was supposed to cry if im heartbroken, not pee.. LOL.
with so many things going on in life, it gets hard to choose between so many options. deciding makes us realize whats more important. it shows us what we really need, or what we really want. one things for sure though, once you have the chance, you might never see it again. sure, when one door closes, another opens, but it wont be the same door, will it? we dont know what lies ahead for us. so...
i really really miss you. you know, the way things used to be. i miss talking everyday, laughing at each other, and telling each other our secrets. but now that doesnt happen anymore..what happened? theres a completely different vibe. i know youre trying to cover it up, but i really feel it. now i know that even the closest of bonds can be broken. i really dont want to put this to waste. all this...
it goes like this.
well for me at least. when a guy likes a girl..well. how can you even explain it? im sure each guy feels it differently. but for me, it just all feels so good. for one, she can just make me smile instantly. it doesnt matter what went on in my day, just seeing her, talking to her, everything about her, just makes me stop what im doing and makes everything better than i thought it could get. all my...
so like earlier while at @francisboba’s house, i was texting in his garage, as i was walking out, and i hella forgot that the garage door was only halfway down..sooo.. I RAN INTO IT. there was a loud boom and my phone dropped and everyone laughed. D: HAHA. i felt so stupid. >.<
its not everyday,
that you find 30 dollars, lying in the middle of a street, right before a busy four way intersection. today, while on the way to go get some food with @hoyirene, @lookitzconrad, and @oscarpetter, i spotted what seemed to be just a one dollar bill on the ground. so i told everyone in the car, “hey look, theres money on the street, it looks like its just a dollar, oh well.” then oscar...
it sucks when you put someone at the top of your list, but to them, you probably would be at the very bottom of theirs, or maybe you wouldnt even exist on that list of theirs. for you, they mean everything to you. but to them, youre practically nothing but another face in the crowd. why is it that, the people we love and care for the most, seem to also hurt us the most? you see an obvious problem...
to be honest,
im somewhat kinda afraid of being in a relationship. no lie. i havent had a girlfriend yet. haha. i dont know why im afraid but i just am. these past few years, all ive done is sit around and watched other couples, either learning from them, or wishing for a love like theirs. theres just this pressure leaning over me. i know nothing is perfect, but i think im afraid of failure. thats all. im...
i deserve better.
in every type of relationship there is, from family to friends to lovers, there is always a need for effort. and most of the time, there is always one side working harder than the other. and it gets to a point where its irritating that you do all the work, you try your best, you take all your time in the world, but in the end, it seems like the other side doesnt care one bit. its obviously not...
i love being ignored.
dont lie to me.
if theres one thing i hate, its if i catch you lying. whats the use in lying? honestly, at least for me, i’ll be less mad if you told me the truth straight up. i’ll still be mad, because nothing can change the fact that something happened, but lying makes it worse. lying makes it seem like theres no trust. cant you trust me that well still be alright, after we get through this? because...
I HAVE THAT CARDIGAN THAT MIKE CHANG IS WEARING. LOLOL. i now know where to stalk harry shum jr. :D lol. i wouldnt do that.
armandoandres: Joseph Vincent / If You Stay And...
it really bothers me when people come up to me only when they need something. and sometimes what they need makes me feel like im just being used. if you want advice, okay then. you want my homework? oh, youre just here for your grade. you wanna be my friend? no? maybe later then.. doesnt anyone need a friend anymore? i know they do. but why not me? i feel left out, unwanted, and used. i know im...
dont blame me.
if one day you come running back to me, expecting everything to be the same, but it isnt. ive put up with enough already. youre just going to be added to list of those who just dont treat me well. they say that if you let go, and it comes back, then its worth it. thats what i’ll do with you. because honestly, im not getting the respect that i deserve. are you expecting me to just to take it...
i dont know what happened. but i feel like giving up. do i just leave this here and wonder what could have happened? or do i start picking up the pieces now.. i really cant give up now. but i feel like falling and laying there.
i need to stop sleeping late. aha. its the weekend, but i always have to wake up early every weekend now. >.< anyways. church yearbook financial aid, scholarships, grants and all that jazz. nap. I BETTER NAP. volleyball. today will be beasting day for me. :D kay. lates!
why does there always have to be that one person who ruins things for everyone? i get that you have an opinion, but we all do too. you dont have to put us down for it. respect us, and well respect you. -_-
i hate it,
when someones pissed at you, and you dont even know why. plus, youre really sure you really didnt do anything wrong, so why the anger? and when you try to talk it out, they just get even more mad. so you decide to give it time, and what happens? they drift away..
hullo. remember me? i know we dont talk much, but when youre sad you come to me. thats perfectly fine with me. at least i know that you know where to look right? and at least you wont bottle it up and i see that you know i can make you happy. so its all good. i just want you to know, that no matter what, i’ll always push things aside for you. i want you to get better. i want you to be happy...
dont be down. i can honestly say for a fact that life does get better. i cant tell you to stop being sad, but take it easy. dont look at everything as a whole, but as a puzzle. take life, one step at a time. take your problems down, get things done, one by one. start off little, and focus on it. then gradually build up. eventually, youll get to where you want to be. maybe you think youve already...
its already february, and that means im only weeks away from the start of my journey back onto the court. im counting down the days, one by one. once i step on that court, my passion will just come alive again. everything i worked hard for these past few years, will finally come to a high. the sweat, the sore muscles, the chants, and much more will come together to create the best story ever told....
today i found out, my two best friends and i. all got into uci. YES. lolol. our plans are slowly falling through.. LIFE SURE IS GETTING BETTER. :D
no one wants to be friends anymore.
or at least a TRUE friend. people come and go. it seems like most people just come to you just to get something they need. once they got what they need, they leave you. they just forget about you. wait what? we cant at least be friends? i thought there was something goin on? guess not. like a used tissue. taken up, then thrown out. its hard to find the real people nowadays. i gotta keep my guard...
the things people do for love.
you cant really blame people for what they do. after all, its what they feel, and not what you feel. how can you have the mentality to judge others, when its completely something felt between two people, and no one else? what they see, no one else can understand. we might not agree with what they do, but can we just let them be? they should know themselves what theyre getting into. at least know...
i hate making decisions.
i cant really decide for myself. i have to ask a billion questions before i finally get somewhere. and when i finally do narrow it down, overthink it, and then doubt myself. i hate this.
my parents want me to go to sdsu. i said no, its my last choice, as much as possible. if i get to LA. im leaving. no stopping me please! im doing all i can to get all the money i need. theres no stopping me from reaching my dreams.